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  • Writer's pictureTracy Haynes

Only Love Is Real

Updated: Mar 29, 2023

Part of my training to become a therapist included residential weekends, which were held at Whalley Abbey, Whalley, Clitheroe, Lancashire. Whalley Abbey is a 14th Century Cistercian Abbey on the banks of the river Calder, in the beautiful countryside of the Ribble Valley. It is set amongst picturesque and peaceful grounds offering a tranquil retreat and holds some very dear memories for me…

I was extremely fortunate to be part of a wonderful group of trainee Counsellors and inspiring tutors. We would arrive for our residential training on Friday afternoon and depart on Sunday afternoon; the hours in between were quite indescribable. They were filled with soul searching, tears, pain, singing amid the acoustics of the abbey, uncontainable laughter, joy and the most profound learning. These experiences I hold very dear to my heart and feel if everyone were fortunate enough to live through these kinds of experiences, the world would be a happier place. I am truly blessed…

Towards the end of one of these weekends a very dear colleague and special friend of mine gave me a gift… It was a book called ‘Only Love is Real’ by Dr Brian Weiss. However, it was much more than just a book that she gave me that day, she gave me the desire to learn more within this arena…

Brian Leslie Weiss is an American psychiatrist, hypnotherapist, and author who specialises in past life regression. His research includes reincarnation, Past life regression, future life progression, and survival of the human soul after death. Wikipedia

Dr. Weiss uses hypnosis to lead his patients back in time to their earliest memories. Then he takes them even further back to what he says are their previous lives. From that point, Dr. Weiss says he and his patients are able to examine the experiences that seemed to have formed the roots of their current fears and phobias. Dr. Weiss says if you can connect your current fears to a past life, those fears will often disappear.

I had been drawn to past life regression a number of years earlier without really knowing why and found a past life regression therapist and booked an appointment. I had no preconceptions or expectations and on reflection I had no real idea what I was embarking on, which I guess in hindsight was probably the best way to explore this phenomenon.

I sat in a reclining chair and, the therapist talked to me in a very soft voice and I went into a dream like state, which I guess was hypnosis. He asked me questions taking me back to a time before I was born. He asked what I could see and to my surprise I was a man and the year was 1833. I was a carpenter and my wife had died unexpectedly, after a short illness, aged 34. We had no children and I buried her myself in the grounds where we lived.

I was so distraught that I became a recluse thereon in. I died alone in the kitchen chair aged 54 years. When the hypnotherapist asked me what I had learnt from that life, I replied “I learnt that I need to connect with people more, as I was painfully lonely.’ The whole experience felt surreal to me yet it felt quite profound, as today my whole life is about connecting with people.

The book ‘Only Love Is Real’ renewed my interest in spirituality and led me to reading many more books around this subject. This was enormously helpful when my beautiful, funny and loving Mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It gave me the strength to be with her every step of the way, reassuring her, as she was so afraid of death. I was able to tell her there was nothing to be afraid of and it was going to be beautiful. I was able to tell her it was time to go now when her suffering became intolerable. I was able to be strong for her.

None of us truly know what happens to us after death and, we all have our own theories. So, I feel if there is no concrete or scientific explanation, then why not adopt an open mind? Instead of having a fear of the unknown, I have chosen to believe that we are all energy and energy never dies, so therefore we must go on. Maybe it is in a different form but with the same soul? Maybe this is only a small part of our journey, a place to learn lessons and those that have passed before us have completed that part of their journey? Maybe we will meet again and feel a joy beyond our current imagination?

This theory gives me comfort and helps me accept the deaths of my loved ones, which makes this life more bearable. So… I figure… whether this theory has any truth in it or not… it helps me live with inner peace and that surely can only be a good thing.



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